Wildfire...

“Life is not a journey to the grave with intentions of arriving safely in a pretty well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming ... WOW! What a ride!” somebody really stupid said this. Really stupid he was. How can he even dream of such catastrophic things with this delicate mortal body of ours? How could he erode the importance of “homeliness”, safety, “sanctity”, and serenity… by equating life with a roller coaster ride? How could he make life… so damn rocking?

Here I go again. I ramble. I irritate. I assume that after all that I have said and done, you are still reading what I have to say (I am referring to you as “you”, again assuming that there is somebody reading all this).

We fight, we struggle so hard to chase our dreams. The chase very often becomes a mania; a brutal endeavor wherein nothing except the destination is acceptable to sight… it revolts if we show it anything else. We run like mad. Taking wild turns. Taking pains. Hoping that this journey would soon come to an end and we would rest in peace at the “Chapel”. But what happens when we reach… if ever we do. The magic is gone. We have got addicted to the pain. With pain goes the magic, the urge, the passion.

Going back into childhood, I remember the month before the summer vacation when the countdown would begin. 30 days to go… 29… 28… the day would come and the passion would be at its high. And what then… the first day at home would make you realize that all the plans that you have been making are not that “holidayish” as they had earlier seemed to be. The magic is gone. Those 30 days of hunger, or wait used to be more fun. The placing of the order is more delicious than the dish itself. That’s because when the dish is served, it is no longer a fantasy. Its reality. And reality is not fun, because its USUAL. Fantasy is the unusual. Fantasy is the drive. Becomes just a brick-n-mortar destination when the journey ends.

Things have changed in the last few days. I had been quite excited for the last few days in anticipation of these changes; spent many a sleepless nights, watched many a sleepless dreams. But this new realm doesn’t seem to be as “holidayish” as I thought it would be. It all seems to be thrusting me into the chasms of serenity. I guess its time to pull up my socks; time to make things happen; its time for thunder! I’ve got to say at the end of it all… WOW! What a ride!

I don’t want the heavens. They are too calm for me. It’s the damn purgatory that I miss…


Originally posted on Thursday, May 04, 2006 10:52 AM