Sitting here alone in this room at the writing desk, with a huge mirror in front of me, I look into my eyes and find a question shyly peeping out. Don’t ask what it is… you’ll know it soon. This mirror seems like a painting… starting with a half filled glass of water from the left hand bottom, dark wooden floor, a crampy bed, a night lamp just bright enough to fill the whole picture with a golden viscous light, and me in the midst of it all… I feel the question… Why now??? Why is it that I am a part of this picture? 6th June 2006… an unknown person in an unknown city… in an unknown civilization. Why am I here?
I wonder why I wasn’t born a few centuries ago. The picture wouldn’t have changed much, except that the night lamp would have been a candle… the water in the glass wouldn’t have been mineral water. Perhaps the picture wouldn’t have been that empty. I would have been filled with something… the knowledge of my world, the age I would have been living in. What if I would have born during the freedom struggle days? Would I have had courage to be a revolutionary… the courage to be selfless… perhaps. I know those times had something to replace the void which is there in this picture in front of me. And my knowledge of my world would have filled me.
But here I am. Know nothing about the world outside the brown wooden frames of this picture. But maybe I was born for some purpose… maybe there is a reason behind all this, a reason that I haven’t discovered yet. Maybe there is some force outside my realms that wants me to be here. Because without me, this picture would have been incomplete… at least this much importance I can grant myself.
I guess I am reading too much into all this. That’s what happens when you don’t have anything to do except sit and eat. When the whole humanity is the result of a bloody chemical reaction that accidentally occurred ages ago… I am no exception.
I shouldn’t think much… Its not always good to think!
