Monday, August 28, 2006

The Kingdom of the Night

Bonjour Tristesse!!

Had been hibernating for a while…out of work, out of relations…out of life. I had thought I would never live again…but here I am, up and kicking…again!!

Lots of things have happened…lots of things have changed…old cracks opened…old wounds come alive! Its been a month of agony, loneliness, madness…a few semi-suicides. But the sun is here again…I looked out of my window this morning and there were a dog or two, ruling the empty amphitheatre of the meandering roads…a bird or two, stretching their feathers out of the dark blanket of the night, pulling up socks for a new day…a man or two, too engrossed in their early morning labor, half asleep, walking like zombies, with a cigarette or two between their teeth. In a few hours, life would take over…the meandering roads would become a choking market place; the beautiful kingdom of the night would end!! But just then, somewhere, in some other part of the world…the birds would again stretch…the dogs would rule (not sure if stray dogs are the same in other countries as they are here in India)…

How different I feel today…wont call it good. Ya…Peace…its been so long since my last rendezvous with the sensation that it seems completely alien now!! Got up early today (if that 15 mins nap can be called a sleep), exercised (one artificial way to be happy), a quick shower…a wheelie onto the grub table, and off I go!! Called up a few old friends while zooming through the roads…man, their expressions of surprise told me how long it had been since we last talked!!

I know there are things I am into which I shouldn’t be…I know the old chasms are not the life that I always wanted…but the…

…I ve gotta to live!!

But…I have realized…

…that I am stronger than I thought I am!!