The canine species has always had some celestial connection with me. A sort of a love hate relationship. A romantic parallel to the painful situation would be “can love but cant marry”. And before my dear readers (to the ones who are smirking “get in touch personally to have a real peace of my mind”) hugely misinterpret the above statement and start kicking my ass in various public forums, let me make it very clear that there is no hidden reference to the female species of any sort.
Let me be more elaborate. Thing have never kind of worked out well between me and my pets. Till the time they are ‘almost pets’, its great…you know, dwellers of the B-Mid of XIMB 2007-2009 would be able to better appreciate this greatness…with all the shoes / slippers, but mine, vanishing and being found in a horrible bundle of dog hair the next morning. But….and I emphasize BUT, the moment they graduate from being ‘almost pets’ to PETS, something somewhere snaps. All my pets run away. It happened twice and that’s when I decided not to tie the knot anymore.
So coming back to the topic of discussion here, the wicked, the ugly and the blasphemous are as follows:
- The Wicked One: KP, better understood as Kaala Pilla. One of my ‘almost pets’ this season. And man he is wicked. He could also be called The Silent One and The ‘Son of a bitch’ One (well, technically, that would apply to all of them)
- The Ugly One: BP, the Brown Pilla. How ugly can life in any form be? Really? A few days back I found the answer to that question when I saw this one.
- The Blasphemous One: JP, Just Pilla. How can a dog always be peeing on that holy picture on that sidewalk? Really? How small a bladder does he really have?
For the records KP, BP and JP are three little stray pups who happen to live on the street I live on. They also happen to not accept the fact that they are stray pups, and cannot be, rather should not be, extremely choosy about the brand of biscuits they eat.
Usual evenings see the three little ones being fed in front of my house. The sound of my door around that time of the day means KP and BP emerging from some hidden unknown corner of the world, and JP taking a small ‘food break’ from his leak. The food is never enough (don’t smirk at me…the world wont be enough if you came down to really feeding them), and sharing food is not exactly their forte. I usually make exceptions for BP and feed him more, as being the ugly one, he gets fed less often by the other dwellers of the street. JP is rough. He knows how to grab his grub and gobble it down before anyone can snatch it away. And KP, by the way, is one of the wicked dogs I have known. He looks sweet and hungry and ‘poor’…only when its dinner time. Otherwise he could also qualify as ‘The Mean One’ or ‘The Nasty One’. At meal times, unlike the other two fighting for food, he has his spot picked where he would sit, tilt his head and make the most adorable puppy dog faces in the history of puppy dog faces…and would get his meal served on a platter!
And this brings us to the day of ‘The Great Leak’. Instead of biscuits, I had bread for the three of them, and yes, there ware a few biscuits too. I gave them a crumb of bread each, which they sniffed, rejected, and demanded their usual biscuit feast. I flung another bread crumb, but they super sensitive noses told them that there were biscuits hidden somewhere. I pulled out the much sought after pack and threw a piece and the ruckus that followed was worth a watch. Even the wise ass KP couldn’t resist and entered a growl war with BP. And just when the situation could go out of hands, JP did something that I will never forget. He took a leak. On the biscuit. And the three of them quietly got back to their bread crumbs and stared chewing. Finished their grub and they were back to their usual business- KP and BP playing in mud, and JP to his favorite corner to pee some more.
And I stood there dumbfound. In the world where a bunch of retards broke down a mosque a decade or two back, and half of the population of a country has been fighting for the piece of land since then; in the world where after years of legal / theological discussions and tussles, a Supreme court decides to give a share to everyone just to make them happy, and the media still trying to tickle the two parties into another tussle… ‘the great leak’ of JP came as a whack in the faces of so many of us.
And while the immaturity of the masses takes ages to decide if a temple of a mosque should be built in Ayodhya, or to which side of the border does the piece of land named Kashmir belongs to, my three little pups did the right thing and moved on!
